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BRAVING: The Anatomy of Trust
by Brené Brown
Boundaries : I trust you if you are clear about your boundaries and you hold them, and you're clear about my boundaries, and you respect them.
Reliability : You do what you say you're going to do. We have to be very clear on our limitations so we don't take on so much that we come up short, and don't deliver on our commitments.
Accountability : I can only trust you if when you make a mistake, you're willing to own it, apologize for it, and make amends. I can only trust you if when I make a mistake, I am allowed to do the same.
Vault : What I share with you, you will hold in confidence. Also, you do not share things with me that are not yours to share, because then my trust in you is diminished.
Integrity : Choosing courage over comfort, choosing what's right over what's fun, fast or easy, and practicing your values not just professing your values.
Non-judgement : I can fall apart, ask for help, and be in struggle, without being judged by you, and you can do the same with me. If you cannot ask for help, and they cannot reciprocate, that is not a trusting relationship. Real trust doesn't exist unless help is reciprocal in non-judgment.
Generosity : Our relationship is only a trusting relationship if you can assume the most generous thing about my words, intentions, and behaviors. And then check in with me.
If braving relationships is braving
self-trust is braving
self-love & self-respect